The Jonas Brothers to play sisters in Off Broadway musical reproduction of "Madame Butterfly"

Funny story written by Robert W. Armijo

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

image for The Jonas Brothers to play sisters in Off Broadway musical reproduction of "Madame Butterfly"
One of the Jonas Bothers was late for rehearsals

New York, New York - Eager to make inroads into the acting profession and eventually feature films, the Joan Bothers announced today that they would be staring in an Off Broadway reproduction of "Madame Butterfly". The classic musical of forbidden love, deceit and gender bending international intrigue will be up dated to appeal to their younger fan base and hopefully not losing them in translation of the cross dressing crossover.

"The Jonas Bothers have been asking me for months now to find the perfect cross dressing crossover vehicle for them," said the Jonas Bother's manager. "That's when it hit me. Why not have them star in a Off Broadway modern rendition of the musical classic of 'Madame Butterfly."

"It will be a cross between 'Tootsie' meets 'Hairspray' meets 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' meets the ending of 'One Flew Over the Coo-Coos Nest," said a Broadway critic. "Because by the end of show, you will wish you were like the Jack Nicholson character and had a frontal lobotomy."

The Jonas bother will dress in drag and don female wigs and makeup for their roles as conjoined Siamese Triplets joined at the hip.

The show's producer has spared no expense in bring in the best in special effects, outfitting the Jonas Bothers in a mechanical pelvic girdle allowing all three siblings to fit comfortably together as they freely roam the stage.

"It allows them to sing and even dance with three male suitors at the same time," said the show's producer. "Which has drawn sharp criticism from Broadway critics, I know."

"It will be a threesome like the world has never seen before. Would want to see ever again and wished they hadn't seen to begin with," said one Broadway critic who was invited with a small group of other critics to attend the rehearsals in hopes of gaining favorable media coverage in the pet project.

"You will wish your were blind as well as deaf," said another critic.

"This reproduction of 'Madame Butterfly' doesn't belong on the stage, but like Freddy Kruger in your nightmares," said yet another critic.

"It's crap like this that makes me wonder why I just didn't stick it out in law school," "Hey, maybe it's not too late to go back," said another critic, while she desperately fumbled through her purse looking for her cell phone.

"Now, because they already sound like choirs of screaming ally cats doused in gasoline set aflame, we won't have disguise their voices to make them sound more school girls than they already do," said the set designer for the show. "We're just concerned that the boys have bitten off more than they can chew, acting wise."

Early test marketing groups indicate that many of the Jonas Bother's fan base are not quite ready to embrace their favorite boy band as cross dressing conjoined Siamese Triplets joined at the hip, which may be reflected in low advanced ticket sales to the show that will closely watched when they go on sale.

"I fear it will be a bit of stretchy both for the Jonas Bothers and their fans," said the Editor of Teen Beat Magazine. "Not for them to pulling off playing a convincing role as a cross dressing conjoined Siamese Triplets joined at the hip, many in the music industry already suspected as much, but it's the signing part everyone will be paying close attention to. So far, despite their record-breaking sales, they have yet to show any talent. But then again when did that ever really matter."

"I don't agree," said the Jonas Bother's manager. "If there is anyone that play a singing can cross dressing conjoined Siamese Triplets joined at the hip, it's the Jonas Bothers."

Advanced matinee tickets will be available online beginning Christmas Day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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