Man Sells Face on eBay

Funny story written by James Sant

Wednesday, 24 September 2008


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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For most of us at the moment the 'credit crunch' is dictating our spending habits, and forcing us to be more careful with our money. As fuel prices continue to rise and energy bills soar there is a need for many to seek additional means of income, from car boot sales to second jobs, in an effort to subsidise household income. The purse strings may be tightening, but the more industrious among us are putting their thinking caps on and coming up with some novel ideas, like, for example, Kevin Filbury.

Kevin from Leamington Spa has decided to sell his face on EBay.

"Ever since my wife left me I've grown sick and tired of seeing the same reflection in the mirror every day, it just reminds me of her. I want to start a fresh, and so I came up with the idea of putting my face up for sale."

Kevin hopes that his face will provide a new lease of life for its lucky recipient, and plans to rebuild his own face using the discarded soft-tissue from Katie Price's recent breast reduction surgery.

"I spoke to Katies' agent about it and the response was fantastic. We've already signed an exclusive picture deal with Hello Magazine, and The Sun will be printing my journal during recovery."

Despite gaining popularity, Kevins idea hasn't been well received by everyone. A spokesman for the British Medical Association said;

"We cannot condone the actions taken by Mr Filbury. Sure, today it's just faces and breasts, but if we allow this then tomorrow it will be elbows and toenails, tonsils and shins, and before you know it we'll be walking around in a world where people talk out of their armpits, look with their bottoms and nothing is quite as it seems."

And it's not just the BMA who are wary;

"I spoke to ITV about the possibility of using my new found celebrity to present a prime-time chat show, but they said that as my face would technically be a breast, it would be against regulations to for me to be on air before the watershed."

Over twenty million billion people each year apply for facial transplants, but due to high rates of freckles and thin lips amonst Britons only 4 are performed every year.

Kevin hopes to run for London Mayor in the next election.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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