London - (Ass Mess): Frantic Hellfire Club attempts to 'list' the BBC Television Centre in West London as a Grade 1 erection are shielding the notorious IRA Provos' burial ground known as the Blue Peter Garden from being bulldozed.
The Beeb's horticultural monstrosity is regarded as something of a Bermuda Triangle by UK police.
They say it contains the body of Lord Lucan and Shergar's corpse as well as a live nuclear device, dubbed The 2000 Blue Peter Time Capsule, buried by the Pretender to the Puppet Throne as an insurance policy against arrest on treason charges.
"We already know that much of the missing Brink's-Matt bullion heist ingots are also buried there," Commander Jim B Ergerac of the Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency said today, "as well as countless former BBC presenters who were topped on Margaret Thatcher's orders and replaced by terrorist doubles, having stumbled on cold war secrets about the Puppet Monarchy."
Cherie Blair is one big fibber.
