Written by Clifford Rutley

Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Britney 'Speared.'

'Ops I did it again,' said the ancient weapons specialist as he accidentally ran Britney Spears through with an ancient spear of the Rain Forest's Umbo-Womba tribe. 'I was really trying to carry out the ancient tribal ritual of removing all of the honoured female visitor's clothes with one quick swoop of the spear tip. But it went horribly wrong.'

Eye witness reports say that Britney was quickly taken to the nearest forest clearing and was taken naked by air ambulance to the nearest hospital, screaming 'Awe, Awe,' and, 'OOOOOh baby, baby.'

When doctors attempted to remove the spear, Britney refused to let them and ordered a famous plastic surgeon to fly out from Hollywood to tend to the wound. She ordered him to seal up her internal damage - leaving the spear in place. She has now returned to her day to day life of attracting the paparazzi with whatever silly bint antics that she can come up with.

'This is just too much, even for me,' said the wealthy and highly successful paparazzi photographer Bob Jackson. 'It was a hoot and good for business when she had her hair shaved and got that tattoo, but going around with a huge tribal spear sticking out of your stomach, as if it is a normal thing to do, is just plane stupid. There is no other way to describe it!'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Britney Spears

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