British train wreck with talent Amy Winehouse has been nominated for three fresh awards which insiders in the music industry say are offcially 'the bollocks'
The 'Ivor Novello awards' or to ordinary folk 'some big awards bash' have nominated Amy for her song writing. Amy already won a number of Grammys this year despite a very public drug addiction. However crack whores across the country are backing the huge face star, insisting that crack and other drugs are not burdens but 'talent enhancers'.
'Taking drugs is in and it makes me play guitar better so it gives me more credit within my campus' Henry Boodle, a student said. 'Sometimes I hit a brick wall with my song writing, but then I smoke some skunk or drop an e and realise my life is so much worse than anyone elses, which inspires me.'
A spokesperson from a drug addiction charity has condemned Amy's nominations. 'Giving girls like Amy credit is only going to make people think that you need drugs to be cool, but actually, you can be just as cool by being sober and doing some good old hardcore algebra.'
