Los Angeles - (Eye-popping Mess): Seedy-looking sartorial disaster Daniel Gay-Lewis looked like the cat that got the Brylcreem as he struggled to maintain a true-Brit hetero front while accepting the gong for Best Actor yesterday.
"Jeez. A Brit tosser with earrings," was the considered view of Oscar Night TV pundits as Day-Lewis flashed the bling and bared the bridge-work, both probably hired for the night in true Hollywood tradition.
"That navy Versace suit was kinda OK," an LAFagHagSlagMag editorial mused today, "but WTF those taupe suede Hushpuppy brothel creepers?"
Opprobrium was also heaped on veteran actress Julie Christie for turning up dressed in weird surgical-looking bandage-style paraphernalia masquerading as evening gloves.
"Should have worn something long-sleeved from Oscar de la Rent-Boy," the editorial continued, "so soon after having the varicose veins done."
Meanwhile Best Actress winner Tilda Swanton is still reeling from LaFagHagSlagMag's description of her shiny black single-sleeve Lanvin haute couture as a 'gawky one-armed bandit bin liner on skag'.
Overall however the night was a runaway success.
