The City Council of Boulder, CO has voted to impeach former President of the NRA Charlton Heston in a closed door session. A spokesman for the City Council, David "Waves" Piketon, said Heston, who served as the head of the NRA in the late 1990s, should be impeached for being "totally uncool" and generally "a part of the military industrial complex, do you dig?"
The group has been known in the past for renegade behavior, including "hiring" the ghost of Janis Joplin to serve as a "transcendent representative" at a school board meeting, passing out condoms to nursery school students, and lobbying to change the name of a local grammar school officially to "A Place for Learning, Little Dudes."
Given the fact that Heston is no longer the NRA president and that the council has no authority to impeach him anyway, some have criticized the move as a waste of time and energy. To that, council spokesman Piketon asked "Is a beautiful day a waste of time? How about a pretty flower?" and added "Go back to your war machine, general!" to no one in particular.
The mayor of Boulder, who asked to remain anonymous, said that while the council is a bit off beat, they do get things done. They were responsible for helping get several large potholes in the city streets clearly marked with rainbow colored traffic cones, and were solely in charge of providing "good vibes" for the recent "Rally for Love and Happiness."
The mayor, over a bowl of organic granola and celery milk, added that the impeachment was largely symbolic, "like last year, when we made Jim Croce honorary mayor for a week."
