Written by Robert W. Armijo

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

image for Britney Spears shags British paparazzo for an exclusive exposé; trys out her new PR campaign to win back the public's attention
British paparazzo gets lucky with Britney and an exposé at an overnight shoot

Hollywood, California - Concerned that her little sister, Jamie Lynn, is diverting the public's attention away from her with the news of her teen pregnancy, Britney has responded by engaging in an aggressive one-on-one public relations campaign with everyone of the paparazzo by sleeping with them. Last night, Britney began sleeping her way back into the hearts and minds of the public by spending the night with a British paparazzo at the fancy Peninsula Hotel in Beverly Hills for her first exposé.

Reportedly, the odd couple stopped off at a Beverly Hills drug store where they made some not so discreet purchases of items of a personal nature and where Britney asked used the bathroom before they checked into the hotel for the night.

"We never even seen a politician press the flesh so hard as Britney," said a member of the venerated Hollywood paparazzi. "Those lucky British bastards. They always are laying our chicks with their accents."

Many members of the paparazzi say they are encouraged by change in Britney's attitude toward them and wish other celebrities would take note.

"We're not saying that other celebrities do what Britney is doing to that British paparazzo, but at least they could do for the rest of us is open up their arms," said a member of the paparazzi.

A spokesman for Britney denies that she has engaged the press in a new public relations campaign, insisting instead that she is conducting an outreach program for members of the foreign paparazzi.

"Many members of the foreign paparazzi arrive to this country barely able to speak a word of English or make their first down payment on a Benz from the proceeds of their photos sold to the tabloids," said a spokesman for Spears. "Britney is just doing her share to strengthen Anglo-American ties."

The most noticeable criticism about Britney's new "outreach program" to members of the foreign press is that it is the first Media Kit that comes with an overnight bag, which includes: a razor, tooth brush, tooth pace, glow-in-the-dark dental dams and color condoms.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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