Congress will tap dead celebrities to help pay for Iraq war

Funny story written by King David

Sunday, 4 November 2007

image for Congress will tap dead celebrities to help pay for Iraq war
The dead Elvis Pressley will be tapped to help pay for US war debt

Congress, in order to help pay for the more than 9 trillion dollar war debt, will go underground and ask dead celebrities to pay higher taxes. The Dead Celebrity Tax Reform, sponsored by Democrat and North Carolina state Senator, David Hasaprice, will go into effect this tax season.

When dead celebrities do their taxes this year they will find higher rates applied to their estates. Congress found that they could generate an additional one-hundred million dollars by assessing dead celebrities a 50% tax increase.

Last year, according to Forbes Magazine, the total revenue generated by dead celebrities was over $232 million dollars, $49 million of that by jailhouse rocker and sensual epicurean and southern boy, Elvis Pressley. Don't step on his blue suede shoes.

Critics say that persons in charge of managing dead celebrity estates are angry at the congressional act calling it "cowardly and disgraceful."

"Congress knows that they cannot get much of a response from the dead," said one manager. "Even more, what dead person can vote?"

Spokespersons for congress, however, were not deterred and point to character building arguments to justify their immoderate positions.

"We feel that when persons inherit large sums of money, they become spoiled. We feel that we are just helping them to avoid this trap," said Hasaprice.

A lawyer for the Dead Celebrities Union (DCU), said that the measure was unlawful and a breach in the contract between the dead and the living that states the dead cannot come back to life for any reason, even to be with loved ones.

Despite the irony, a repeal of the act is pending.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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