Written by Ben Macnair

Monday, 27 August 2007

image for Death Star - Not the best present ever
Darth Vader on the moon, yesterday

Darth Vader, the villian of Space based documentary Star Wars has admitted that buying a Death Star for his long -estranged daughter Princess Leia was probably not the best move.

Speaking on the Jeremy Kyle show the asthmatic dark clothes wearing evil over-lord admitted that first 25 odd years of his children's lives he was the worst father going. He spoke of his shame in his absence, but also spoke of his pride in his children, and the adults that they have grown up to become.

'If only Luke had known the truth as a boy, he would not have had all of that bullying he faced as a child. All those kids saying that their dad could have beaten his dad, well where are those dads now, did they conquer the universe, doing the bidding of a wrinkled old man, like I did? I even offered Luke a place in the family firm, next to me, but those pesky Jedi's had got to him before I did.

I had to do something for Leia as well,and giving her a death star seemed like the best thing to do at the time. Of course, using it to destroy the planet she grew up on was probably not the best move in the world, but the Emporer had told me to do it, and he is my boss. I like the Simpson's, I guess you could say he was Mr Burns, and I was Smithers, he was always asking me to release the Hounds'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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