Wednesday, 15 August 2007

image for Britney Spears Earns PhD in Astronomy
Man that's hawt!

Mount Palomar, California (IP) Britney Spears has just graduated from Mount Palomar's University of Astronomy and Astrophysics earning her PhD in cosmology with a specialty in stellar evolution and quantum mechanics as well as a minor in universal unification theory. She graduated Magna Cum Laude and Cum Grano Laude and was able to sustain a perfect 4.0 grade average.

She did all of that in 3 weeks.

She was asked what she planned on doing with all of those degrees and lofty titles. She said that her ambition was to bring and end to mankind's reptilian and territorial impulses and war making instincts thereby achieving world peace by focusing the world's energy and resources on creating a means of intergalactic transportation via a system that uses unification theory and its attendant technologies. The spinoff benefits associated with the development of unification theory related technologies would solve all of the world's ecological, hydrological, and agricultural problems.

She said the whole idea was a no brainer and it was all just a matter of shifting priorities and resources from the theater of war to the saving of the entire planet from the inevitable doom that awaits our planet due to the final stages in the life cycle of our star, the Sun.

When the Sun exhausts its hydrogen then helium then oxygen cycles and expands outward in the form of a red giant consuming the first three terrestrial planets whose orbits coincide with its expansion boundaries then it will be too late to initiate a program to evacuate the Earth's population to the greener pastures offered by the existence of exoplanets.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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