JEWKNOW, ALASKA (ANCHORAGE DAILY NOOZ)--No sooner had the guilty pleas start rolling out like the heads which will roll later, that the cocaine-snorting, story-sniffing noses of Hollywood writers began to descend upon the ice-cold greedy trial of the now famous eleven lawmakers & breakers...The Corrupt Bastards Club. The fireworks being jettison from the investigation glow like an Aurora Borealis of shame, gluttony and lust.
Former Legislator, Ray Metcalfe, founder of the Independent Republican Moderate Party, Had been trying to get the attention of law enforcement involved in the shady relationship between VECO oil & the Republican meatball legislature headed by Ben Stevens for the most part, was going unnoticed. It wasn't till Metcalfe turned in a movie script & treatment of the dirty politics going on in the lap of director, Steven Spielberg, did the FBI decided to get involved in a big way.
FBI lead investigator, Starr Crossed, tells us, "When we heard Hollywood was getting involved with the story of the Corrupt Bastards Club, we couldn't pass up the chance to be in a movie. All we got to do is have a parade of very splashy press conferences and wham-o we're not only in the film, but, we also get paid for being in it playing ourselves. We also get to have lunch with famous movie stars like Angelina Jolie, Robbin Williams, Mark Lowton...etc. Is this Neat-O or what?!".
Steven Spielberg's production company has bought the option for the movie and the right to the comic book & action figures by Mattel for merchandising. Along with lunch boxes, there will be a Corrupt Bastards Club, T-shirts, ice skates, hockey sticks, hats, ice cream, frozen yogurt & gellato. Pennzoil will feature all eleven Corrupt Bastards Club members on their plastic oil containers and NASCAR race car. The different crooked Republicans will be featured on game cards by Topps and Saga is set to introduce the Corrupt Bastards Club video game in thirty days.
This film will be a first for the President of the United States. A chance to portray himself as he really is. "I'm really tickled pink for the chance to act in this movie", confesses George W. Bush, "it won't even be a stretch at all!". Spielberg was glad to get Bush into his movie, "Nabbing The President for the role as himself was a real stroke of good luck..." Steven says with a little boy's delight, "...nobody in Hollywood wanted the part."
Coming soon to theaters near you.