Beware 'spoilers' warns Rowling as cops move to end her reign of terror

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 14 May 2007

image for Beware 'spoilers' warns Rowling as cops move to end her reign of terror
Harry Potter spell soon to be broken

London - (Associated Mess): Speaking to reporters today about her seventh serial attempt to pass off the Harry Potter books as her very own work JK Rowling hit back at press reports that the Metropolitan Police is finally about to make its move and throw the book at her in their ten year probe into theft, extortion, bribery, corruption, perversion of the course of justice, kidnapping, conspiracy etc:

"There will always be sad individuals who get their kicks from ruining other people's fun," she said of the senior Met Commander who has applied for her arrest warrant.

"I hope, however, that they will embark on their last adventure to nail me with the utmost caution because they don't know where they are they going," she said.

"I always get this intuitive feeling of the first distant rumblings of the weirdness that usually precedes a Met Police arrest warrant which I have successfully parried by blackmailing at least two consecutive UK Prime Monsters over the last decade.

"Some, perhaps, will read this and take the view that all publicity is good publicity, that spoilers are part of hype, and that I am trying to protect my ass.

"But they have yet to infiltrate my covert network that will destroy the very heart of the Met machine that threatens to nail me at the height of my career."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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