Saturday, 21 April 2007

image for Britney Spears Latest Rants Caught On Tape
The Pop Tart wants Vanna White's job according to her latest rant

Britney Spear's latest rants were caught on tape by reporters from Seventeen Magazine. Following is a transcript of that rant:

"Let's talk about Kevin, okay? Kevin, is, I mean, you know, he's kind of, well, you know how he is, right? He's just so,, well, he's that way and someone else can put up with it because I don't have to anymore and he's just a, ... a , ...what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Justin, on the other hand, is just the opposite. He's too much the other way. Maybe I picked Kevin because he's so different. Justin was my first love since we met on the Mickey Mouse club and you saw what he did to Janet Jackson on the Super Bowl and he's all hands and I never slept with him and I was a virgin for a long time and I should be in Seventeen Magazine because I'm such a good role model for the girls and my hair thing and my panties thing are all behind me now and I think I was talking about Justin but he's so yesterday so I don't want to anymore."

Last week, Britney issued another rant to reporters about published comments that she was pregnant again and stupid. "I'm not pregnant because I finally learned about birth control and stuff from Paris. People think I'm stupid, but I'm smarter than the President and I can answer some of the questions on Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader like the one about something and I said three and I was right and the guy got it wrong so they kicked him off and everyone forgets their underwear sometimes and that doesn't make me stupid and once I even answered a question on Jeopardy and I can even sometimes figure out the answers on Wheel Of Fortune and we watched lots of game shows at the rehab so I think I want to be a host or maybe take Vanna White's job because I think I can figure out that you just touch the little box that light's up and she gets lots of new clothes every episode and she even did the show when she was pregnant but she's getting kind of old looking so they need someone pretty like me now and I can even sing the theme song or something for them if they want me to cuz I did some music videos."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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