(AP) San Jose, CA - In an unprecedented announcement, eBay will, "auction off the 1975 version of Michael Jackson's nose," president and CEO Meg Whitman told reporters at a Thursday morning press conference. The nose, which made its final appearance on MJ's Forever, Michael record will be packed on ice and shipped to the lucky winner in an Igloo cooler. "We've taken all the necessary precautions to preserve the nose as best as we can. At the moment, it does not appear a minute older than the day we picked it," Whitman chuckled.
In the past, eBay has made a reputation for itself by selling new and used items for as much as people would bid in the allotted time. "Everything is only worth what people are willing to pay," says Bill Cobb. Cobb is North American President and oversees overseas marketing. "This is by far our most prized item to date. In addition to it belonging to Michael, [Jackson] the nose was also pushed way up the prestigious asses of Berry Gordy, Al Sharpton, Quincy Jones, Emmanuel Lewis and - of course - Bubbles the monkey, making it worth more than your average sniffer," Cobb concluded.
The bidding is set to begin at US$3.00 with a Buy Now! button set at US$1,012,227. "We expect this to go very quickly," Whitman said, "so if you're interested, get in now and don't blow it."
Should this venture succeed, eBay will then go into a "Useless Celebrity Shit" collection that will include Britney Spears hair, Sammy Davis Jr.'s glass eye, Olivia Newton John's left breast and Naomi Campbell's finger nails - as soon as they can be removed from the face of her manicurist.
Jackson could not be reached for comment but upon hearing of this auction, was quoted as saying, "HEEEE HEEEE...they can have my penis too."
