Written by El Zilcho

Sunday, 25 March 2007

image for Angelina to adopt again
A British baby yesterday.

The latest addition to the growing Jolie-Pitt family has barely been introduced to his new family, but already his new mum is on the look-out for another child.

The beautiful humanitarian-cum-actress confessed today that she feels it is her duty to adopt as many poor children as possible.

"When you are as beautiful, talented, wealthy yet humble as I, making millions from acting as a large-breasted character from a video game (amongst other successes) becomes unsatisfying," she said from one of her homes.

"I have decided to adopt one of those cute British children from London," she added, "I want at least one child from every deprived country and seeing those teenagers killing each other in London all the time made me cry. If I can help just one British child escape the life of grinding poverty he or she is no doubt going to be subject to, then I will do so. I feel it's a calling from a higher spirit, adopting children without necessarily needing to go through the proper channels. And I can basically do what I want."

It is not known whether the rumours of a competition with Madonna and Guy Ritchie are true, but Brad and Angelina have said before that they really feel they can make a difference to the world's inequalities by cherry-picking an attractive child and ensuring they live a life of luxury.

Speaking at his ranch in Texas, George Bush broke off from deciding which Middle Eastern country to attack next to confirm he was "110% in total agreement" with whatever he was told if it meant American interests were looked after. Tony Blair, speaking in London, said the same.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Angelina Jolie

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