Whispers have been slipping out of Russia that, besides the pee-golden-shower tape hidden from the US public in a Kremlin basement, the real, genuine Donald Trump is also kept in a Kremlin basement.
The man in the White House is a Russian lookalike who has undergone extensive facial reconstructive surgery. He's an overweight Russian operative who was also selected for the job because of his family's successful history in theatre and film.
This explains why he has such a limited vocabulary for a supposedly Wharton graduate. Many people have noticed that everything is always either great or terrific. When he became desperate during his debate with Vice President Kamala Harris, he said, "Immigrants are eating the cats and dogs," from an old Russian folk song.
He never grasped or understood how tariffs worked. He assumed tariffs were paid for by the nation that exported goods. However, after the market crashed and a room in Siberia waited, he made a gymnastic flip-flop and reversed the tariff increases—just in the nick of time.
True, he wears a lot of orange makeup, but that's to camouflage his history of numerous reconstructive surgical procedures. The same goes for the long, blond comb-over, which has extensions. He always wears the red MAGA hat to hold everything down.
The real Donald Trump (of US bankrupt casino history), who is held in a Kremlin basement, also has a limited Russian vocabulary. He remains delighted with golden showers, watches his Apprentice television history reruns, curses for never winning an Emmy, and is supplied with daily McDonald's hamburgers.
He is told he'll be released from the Kremlin basement as soon as the fake US Trump collapses the US economy and government.
Read more by this author:
