Stephen King To Work With New Genre

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Sunday, 11 March 2007

image for Stephen King To Work With New Genre
King's newest novel is "just a chick flick on paper," says one long time fan.

Celebrated horror and suspense novelist Stephen King has decided to try his hand at another genre. In the past, he has written such things as Carrie, Cujo, Christine, Silver Bullet, The Lawnmower Man, The Stand, and several other books that were generally turned into really bad movies. This May, at booksellers everywhere, customers will be able to purchase their first ever Stephen King Harlequin Romance novel.

In this book, there will be no graveyards (like in Pet Cemetary), werewolves, vampires, ghosts, witches, blood, gore, horror, death, murder, strangulation, cannibalism, haunting, or any other normal King themes. Instead, a young woman will fall in love with a strange, mysterious man that everyone warns her to stay away from. Unlike most King novels, however, he will not beat her or turn into some kind of monster. When he holds her, he will be strong and tender and his hands will not encircle her neck and squeeze. He will not put a stake thru her heart, but Cupid's arrows. He will eventually eat her, but it is in a different way than most King novels and will be very satisfying to her. In the end, they will live happily ever after and will give birth to a normal, healthy baby who is not demon spawn or the son of Satan.

Several of Stephen's fan have speculated that the author must have been touched by a chick flick or just wanted to get in touch with his feminine side. When asked why King would want to write such a novel, he declined to answer directly. He did say, however, that his next book would take place in the old west and involve cowboys, indians, the railroad, a school marm, and a cattle drive.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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