The New Tolkien Epic - 'Rings of Power' - A Blathering Special Review

Funny story written by UncleDale

Wednesday, 31 August 2022

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It starts out with a male and female Elvish ruler in front of a 50-foot gold curtain - (the have a big budget) - arguing over who is going to get the Rings of Power - being created by the charismatic (but Evil) Dark Lord.

Already - we are into modern male - female Hollywood style Bickering - as the rings all have different attributes. The female elf warrior Galadriel wants one of the Male rings and is going to ask the Dark Lord for one.

Her brother reminds her to stay in her place - and don't rock the boat - (so to speak). She has an Elvish tantrum and leaves.

Elves are touchy - they are choosy - they hardly ever have sex - and only for procreation - so always have a lot of sexual tension. it shows in all their scenes. But they are elegant - drank Elvish Sherry in some episodes.

After the Elf segments and the many great episodes of Violence - stylish Elvish military blood and gore - (for the kids) - The Dwarves show up.

All they Want is Gold, Gold, Gold. Trash the environment, tear down the mountains for gold and diamonds - (sort of riff on our modern Capitalistic worldwide culture).

The violent but artistic Elves are forgotten - The materialistic Dwarves are center stage.

We are getting into the people who Really like Violence. And don't like artistic Elves - and who like to dominate the proceedings - (Proto - Conservatives). Destroy the World to save it - (and make big money while doing it) - The Conservative Creed.

Then Evil comes back with his Followers - all Followers lying daily to the little people to confuse them - as Mr. Evil takes over the world - through the Rings of Power.

(The wise Elves know power corrupts but didn't care - they have their own power needs).

The biggest, addictive High is wielding Power over Others. The Fentanyl of power politics. And Greed springs eternal.

Anyway - basically the writers just read the daily papers for the last year and got all their plot materials there - and are presenting it in Tolkien Fantasy guise. As Tolkien got some of 'Lord of the Rings' ideas from newspaper accounts of World War Two.

They could as easily get all plot ideas from the Bible.

There has to be lots of verbal bickering, quarreling, fighting between social groups - and a few real nasty personal betrayals - otherwise no Drama.

And you read or see this in or on the News every day - as it sells Ads.

it's Othello on the nine o'clock news every night.

So - this is just a nice Family Experience - but no kids under age 5.

Over age 5 they are used to it.

Basil Blathering - Part time Film Critic - Olde English Church News.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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