California - (ReUterus): Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham is to star in a £10 million fly-off-the-wall documentary about the mediocrity of her singing career, her lacklustre foray into the fashion industry, her several attempts at reviving those tawdry girl band days and the monotony of a bulimic lifestyle revolving around constant regurgitation of one organic lettuce leaf.
Oh, and not to mention her husband's dalliances with a couple of old well-thumbed trollops. Plus some that have yet to be exposed - such as Kazakhstani actor Mr Borat, for instance.
The documentary has been brokered by her bilological father Arnold Schwarzenegger, Governor of California, who also managed to get her husband David Beckham that all-important Green Card to make sure he had a job in football following the collapse of his sporting career that culminated in captaining England in two consecutive disastrous World Cups.
The £10m NBS deal will feature a programme "looking inside Victoria's world" in a move described as akin to sending a probe into the biggest black hole the cosmos has ever produced this side of the millenium.
"Think of Desperate Housewives but without the plot", said an industry spokesman.
Shooting is schedule to begin next month.