American Idol produces American pabulum

Funny story written by Buck E Filbert

Friday, 2 February 2007

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Idol is creating a factory of cookie cutter performers; that's just not Rock n Roll

American Idol is looking for a certain kind of talent, performers with the "it" factor.

Thousands audition, a hand full make it through. It seems as though anyone making it to the top 5 is virtually guaranteed a record contract, resulting in a live tour.

While on the surface it seems like a great opportunity for fledgling vocalists there is a rising tide against the competition. The protests are coming from the rejected contestants and concerned music executives.

After an unusually bad brow beating by Simon Cowell one contestant stormed out of the audition area flapping her wings in her chicken costume screaming they don't know talent. My clucking is better than Rubin's crooning.

Another man appeared to be channeling dinosaur behavior as he performed his rendition of, Walk this Way, by Aerosmith. He made growling sounds and lizard like movements as he was led out by security.

"If they don't let some of the more unusual performers through we're doomed to have to listen to talent like Kathryn McPhee and Taylor Hicks forever", said record producer Niles Gordon. "I mean would Janis Joplin, Cindy Lauper or Dillan have made it through? I think not".

The industry is concerned that Idol is creating a factory of cookie cutter performers that will inundate American air waves leaving no room for anyone else. Now that's just not Rock n Roll.

From the desk of
Buck E Filbert
Feb 2 2007

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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