Written by King David

Saturday, 30 December 2006

image for Fashion Designer, Armani, Comes Out With New Fashion Line For The Dead
Fashion Designer, Armani, will dress up the dead

In a scene similar to Hollywood movie, "Weekend At Bernie's," cadaver models today hit the floor in wheel chairs and golf carts and were paraded up and down the runway at the Increasingly Defunct-Osiris Hotel in Paris while runway music was provided by American cult group, The Grateful Dead.

"We've never seen anything like this before," said one spectator who was surprise how good the dead models looked in fashion clothing and sunglasses.

Fashion designer, Giorgio Armani, in an interview with reporters, said that "the girls looked really good today and carried themselves with an unusual amount of poise."

This comes in the wake of Armani's public announcement that he would be coming out with new fashion-wear for condemned prisoners who were scheduled to be executed.

Industry analysts expect the fashion designer, worth billions, to be highly successful in his new line of Osiris clothing for the deceased.

"We feel here at Giorgio's that just because you have crossed over doesn't mean you have to look any less fashionable. In fact, we want you to be proud even in the grave," he was reported as saying.

The fashion designer said that he is currently negotiating with health department officials about the possibility of allowing family members to exhume the dead bodies of their loved ones from time to time and dress them in the latest fashion.

"We know the importance of fashion," said the impudent designer, "above and below the ground."

He was also said to be negotiating at London Burberry's for discounts on their "tartan plaid raincoats with matching death protectors, scarves, hats, gloves and umbrella apparel which will insulate a body from decay for up to 60 years, depending on the amount of rainfall for the year. This collection comes from the "Washed-out Gullible Old Slapper collection" reported earlier by "the Queen" (Queen Mudder) and her intrepidly penetrating news service, London's Associated Mess (Ass Mess).

"The optional his/her contraceptive devices, under the circumstances, would not be unnecessary," said Armani.

Armani was said to have brokered two former US presidents, six former CIA agents, two former US Supreme Court justices and six former international porn stars to be models in the dead fashion show.

The line-up was said to be brokered through a west Hollywood talent agency.

Judges for the inanimate supinely-defying event were an international and other worldly crew from Egypt, China, Greece and Heaven. There names were: Abasi Osiris, Li Yama, Athena Minos, Aristotle Rhadamanthys, Aristotelis Aeacus and God repectively.

In other news today, Michael Jackson's nose will be preserved forever after the rest of him dies, and, thank God nothing else was reported today.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Fashion, Armani

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