Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 1 June 2018

image for Spoof Site Boss To Offer 'Block' Feature To Help Readers Avoid Shit They Don't Like
You have been blocked

The owner of a satirical news website has revealed that he is to experiment with a new 'block' feature so that both writers and readers will have the option to avoid reading anything written by a writer whose material does not meet with their approval.

Chad Nackers, editor at The Onion, said that, even though the site is at the forefront of satirical nonsense news, not every one of its writers is loved by every one of its readers. Or its writers, for that matter. Nackers:

"We all have our own favorites, and, of course, there are those we just, plain and simple, don't like. I thought I'd offer readers the option, as Facebook does, to avoid contributors they don't much care for so that they never have to read their shit submissions. It's a trial; we'll see how it goes."

The idea already has already generated opinion, both for and against.

One writer told me:

"Great idea! I have my own preferred contributors, but there are also those I might try to avoid reading. One writer, in particular, immediately springs to mind - a real tide-mark of scum in the literary bath."

Another said:

"I'll definitely be using this feature. Some of the shit I have to wade through is excruciatingly bad, poorly thought-out, incoherent, imbecilic and infantile."

But there was also opposition. A writer who I cannot name said:

"No, give me randomness! Haha! That's how my stories usually get viewed, anyway - lots of accidental hits from Google!! (And why not, fellow spoofers?!?!) I realise I'm not everybody's cup of char (who is?!) but I make a lot of people laugh. Haha! Even if I have to crawl round all my social media friends to view and rate my stories. GET IT?"

Other satirical news websites have remained tight-lipped about their plans to offer the 'block' option.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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