The dearth of new ideas hanging over US TV has forced them to reboot old, loved series including the ageing original cast of Roseanne. In fact, the kids from then look so old now it makes one wonder how they are going to WOW the public once again!
There are many old US TV series being rebooted because script writers cannot find anything original and here are some:
Lone Ranger: Is a brand new cowboy series where the Lone Ranger and his Indian partner, Tonto, are gay; promises to be a bummer!
Bonanza: Will not show a cowboy family on a flashy ranch anymore, but a homeless family living under a bridge in New Orleans fighting for their right to survive until one day Little Joe robs a bank; Bonanza, yipee!
Dallas: Will be filmed in Houston without oil and the Dallas clan are all Saudi's now who don't need US oil!
2 and a half men: Instead of a lecherous, sex mad pianist, his brother and his son, the cast will now star an impotent Jewish fiddler on the roof, an ex-member of ISIS and a Russian, ex-circus performing dwarf played by Danny de Vito (How the hell did they get into the US?).
Baywatch: No more silicone bouncing boobs, six-pack heroes running and saving lives; no, Baywatch stars will now become reality, obese heroes with fat bellies, dangling boobs, flabby butts and because nobody wants to be saved by such anti-heroes, there will be no action! Promise to be a blockbuster!
Miami Vice: Don Johnson and Stubbs will no longer wear flash designer clothes and drive Ferraris; in this series they dress like all undercover cops do; in rags, are unshaven, knackered and high on pot giving the series a more realistic touch. Don Johnson refused to play the part of Crockett, but after being offered 2 million $ per show thought it would be alright to ride around Miami in a broken down Nissan Micra!
More as we get it!