Written by Duff

Monday, 27 November 2006

image for Renée Zellweger explodes on set of Bridget Jones 3
You can still almost make out her smile

Tragic news reaching us today about oscar-winning actress Renée Zellweger. It seems that the preparation phase of the new Bridget Jones movie (Bridget Jones 3 - The Wrath of Khan and this time it's personal) has taken a turn for the worse.

The early reports, as yet unconfirmed, say that during a rehearsal on-set this morning Zellweger exploded into thousands of pieces suddenly and completely without any warning whatsoever.

Ms. Zellweger, who famously adds pounds to her sylph-like figure in order to get 'into character' for the part is believed to have gone too far this time. Friends tell how she has spent months, virtually 24 hours a day, eating burgers, fry-ups and pizzas.

Co-star and foppish dandy Hugh Grant said "Oh Fuck!" just like he did at the start of 'Four Weddings', when he heard the news. After some reflection, he added:

"Well I suppose it not all bad as at least we can get a proper English bird to play the part now"

Read our entertainment section tomorrow when we print our tribute to a true great and when we will also give full details of today's sad events.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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