Michael Douglas cancer advice rejected by JP Morgan boss

Funny story written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 16 July 2014

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Just say Aaah...

New York - The Oscar-winning producer of One Blue Over The Cuckoo's Nest famously blamed his now-cured throat cancer on a bout of dodgy oral sex in a 'tasteless' quip that wife Catherine Zeta Jones said had left her feeling uncomfortable and down in the mouth.

This morning Douglas' diagnostic skills were in the frame once more as JP Morgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon revealed he too had been treated for throat cancer.

And that he'd been spammed with mouthwash tips from the dual Oscar winner, a veteran of multiple oral pathogen probes.

"Uh, nothing that's seen the inside of Michael's oesophagus is related to my own," the banker revealed at a Manhattan press conference.

"Besides, who really knows what foreign bodies and toxic spores get up to in those dark, dank spots, certainly not my proctologist."

Ouch.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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