Move over Caligula and Dracula, A-Rod is Here

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Friday, 4 October 2013


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ON THE CUSP OF EGOMANIA - Never enter a situation where you working with a kookoo bird with a litigation complex. If you are sued by a psychotic with millions of dollars-or even a sociopath with unlimited resources, your time will be squandered.

MLB and Bud Selig have incurred the wrath of Alex Rodriguez.

Baseball wants to banish him to Elba, as befits Napoleon on steroids, botox and human growth hormone, but they have only served to antagonize the Yankee version of Vlad the Impaler.

You always know who has the right of way at an intersection or rotary when you drive: it's the driver who looks craziest. In this case the man texting behind the wheel is A-Rod.

As is the case with total delusions, Rodriguez believes that MLB is intent on destroying him. That may be why they have made him a multi-millionaire with salary out of proportion to his mental capacity.

Why you may wonder would a man whose career is over from a chronological age point of view is so intent on fighting the system, battling the universe, and facing his own flaws? Well, one good reason is that there is nothing else in his life.

Yes, A-Rod may have had that hideous epiphany in the middle of the night when his paid companions were not enough. His sex life was devoid of meaning, purpose, or even satisfaction. His development could not be any more arrested than if he were selling PEDs in the dugout.

When that happened to Caligula, he made his horse a senator and began sleeping with his sister and eating her fetus.

A-Rod may not be on a par with depraved Roman emperors, but he is close enough to warrant an HBO cable movie one of these days.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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