Lindsay Lohan Kicked Out of The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 15 June 2013


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Lindsay has just been kicked out of The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic.

LOS ANGELES - Well as they say the squeaky wheel gets the grease and in this case all of Lindsay Lohan's four wheels were squeaky.

According to Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, the executive director and staff at The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic simply got fed up with the diva-like antics of Miss Lohan (#73013).

Executive Director Cheyenne Gayla Wheatgrass stated that it would be in the best interest of the entire staff as well as all of the patients to kick (Lohan) out of their rehab clinic rather than put up with a grown woman who has the personality and demeanor of a child.

Clinic nurse Cadenza Costapino said that Lindsay, who is 26, acted more like she was 6. She noted that on several occasions she had to slap her to keep her from holding her breath and passing out.

Mrs. Wheatgrass said that Lohan was probably the worst patient that she has ever had in her clinic. She stated that one evening at dinner she grabbed a handful of macaroni and cheese and stuck it in her bra.

She then told one of the male patients to help her take the mac and cheese out of her bra. The patient was stopped before he could lay a hand on one of Lohan's boobs.

Clinic custodian Enzo Rudolphowitz said that the male patient identified as Peter "Pudding" Flickerfin (#72909) became very upset that he was grabbed before he could grab Lohan's knockers.

According to Mrs. Wheatgrass, Lindsay Lohan has been transferred to Cliffside Malibu Estates where she will certainly feel right at home with the likes of dysfunctional male and female celebrities who are just exactly like her.

In Other News. Illinois has just become the nation's very first state to outlaw the phrase, "Hey that was pretty good for a girl."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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