American Idol's Devin Velez Says Nicki Minaj Is Just Plain Mean

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 3 April 2013

image for American Idol's Devin Velez Says Nicki Minaj Is Just Plain Mean
Jazzy Nippernoodle is Nicki Minaj's personal makeup artist.

HOLLYWOOD - So far this year three contestants have been eliminated from American Idol, and all three have been males.

Chicago's Devin Velez is the latest to be sent home and he did not go quietly onto the Tinsel Town night.

After the show he expressed to Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors that Mariah "La Diva" Carey, Randy "The Dawg" Jackson, and Keith "The Aussie" Urban all went up to him, hugged him, and wished him well.

The shows host Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest also told him that he was surprised to see him go because he really felt that Lazaro Arbos was going to be heading on back to the Plywood State (Florida).

Devin said that he blamed Nicki "The Circus Clown" Minaj for his elimination from the show. When asked to explain he simply said that from the very beginning Minaj has shown a preference towards the females and she voted not to give him the one judges' save.

The 18-year-old went on to say that the woman with the eyelashes from hell does not hide the fact that her favorites are Kree Harrison and Janelle Arthur whom she has referred to in a lesbionic manner.

He pointed out that Minaj has said that Janelle reminds her of a piece of cornbread and Kree reminds her of a bowl of okra.

Devin did not want to state what else Minaj had said but he stressed that the American Idol audience members know and it ain't pretty.

Velez, who was nicknamed the Unicorn because of his hair, added that when he and fellow male singers Burnell Taylor and Lazaro Arbos were singing their trioette he looked over at Minaj and noticed that she was on her cell phone.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I spoke with Ryan Seacrest about that and he did confirm that Minaj was playing Angry Birds while the three males were singing their Motown song "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."]

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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