American Idol: The Girls Are All Singing Pretty Darn Good!

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 14 March 2013

image for American Idol: The Girls Are All Singing Pretty Darn Good!
Keith Urban has said that he will be presenting one of his personal guitars to this year's American Idol winner.

HOLLYWOOD - The last five winners of American Idol have all been WGWG's, which stands for White Guys With Guitars.

Randy "The Dawg" Jackson says that this year could be the year that American Idol crowns a female winner and she could be a WGWP, (White Girl With Piano), or else one of two BGNG's (Black Girls No Gimmicks).

Currently leading the pack of 10 singers are the piano playing Angie Miller and the non-instrumented Candice Glover of South Carolina and Houston's Amber Holcomb.

Nicki Minaj commented that "Smiley" Miller is trying her best to get away from having a beauty pageant contestant look that could cost her lots of votes especially on the Left Coast.

Minaj convinced Angie not to sing while wearing a two piece swimsuit as the Massachusetts native had planned on doing.

Keith Urban stated that over on the guy side the two singers that stand out are Curtis Finch, Jr., of St. Louis and Burnell Taylor of New Orleans.

The Australian country artist said that Curtis is this year's resident Ebenezer Baptist Church singer.

[WRITER'S NOTE: An unnamed, inside source stated that Curtis is currently being investigated by American Idol officials regarding a Church Collection Plate Incident that occurred in 2010.]

Urban pointed out that Burnell (Taylor) is a fine singer but he really needs to get rid of the backwards baseball cap gimmick.

The lucky country music singer who is married to fellow Aussie Nicole Kidman said that Afro Sheen Magazine's Yodelle Denzel St. Bling pointed out that Burnell's gangsta-type look could cost him lots of votes especially in the conservative Midwest states of Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska.

SIDENOTE: Woody The Wonder Woodchuck is predicting that Glover, Holcomb, Miller, Finch, and Taylor will all survive the Top 10 elimination. Woody also predicts that the first of the 10 to go home will be 21-year-old Lazaro Arbos of Florida.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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