Written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 15 February 2013

image for American Idol Picks The Top 40
Reports are that Nicki Minaj goes through two lipsticks daily. (Photo courtesy of Ryan Seacrest).

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol has gotten through with Hollywood Week and judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey seem to have put their differences behind them as things at the judges table have settled down.

Of course Randy "The Dawg" Jackson still seems to think that he is the Black version of Simon "The Sultan of Sarcasm" Cowell with his little sarcastic jabs here and there.

Meanwhile Australian country music singer Keith Urban AKA Nicole Kidman's husband, seems to really be enjoying the judges gig as evidenced by the fact that he sings along with most of the contestants.

Urban even hollers out words of encouragement while the contestants are performing like "Way ta go mate," "Now dats da way ta wail old chap," and "Hey Randy will ya take a gander at dat lasses (blank)."

But it is really a good thing that Simon is no longer around because if he had seen what about a dozen of the girl singers did Cowell would have had a cow.

For the first time in American Idol history girls actually wrote the words to their songs on their hands, wrists, arms, and one girl even wrote her lyrics on her upper thighs.

She was asked to leave due to the fact that the Daisy Duke short shorts she was wearing were much to short and she ended up showing body parts that should only be seen by her boyfriend and in private.

And of course there was the obligatory whining and crying as girl after girl and guy after guy were told that their journey was over and that they would be given a ride to the local Greyhound Bus Station.

Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest remarked that he did not recall ever seeing so many guys cry except for that time when John Boehner, Brett Favre, and Glenn Beck met for lunch at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Brooklyn last summer.

SIDENOTE: Calcutta Cotton with Music Moments Magazine has stated that out of the Top 40, the one to beat is 18-year-old Angela Miller from Beverly, Massachusetts. She was the only singer that received a standing ovation from each one of the four judges.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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