Clothes Make the Sportsman Rich: Eruzione & Schilling

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Sunday, 24 February 2013

This week we had a glimpse into what the well-dressed Boston sports fan ought to be donning.

The usual uniform of sports jersey, sneakers, and baseball cap just seems so bland that you now have to skip the sports fashion store and go directly to Sotheby's for the finest haute couture.

Two iconic Boston figures have donated their used clothes to the highest bidder this week.

We are not opposed to hand-me-downs that don't fit properly, but let's face it: some clothes contain more magic than you can find in a normal lifetime.

So it is with Mike Eruzione and Curt Schilling. Each made fame a pale horse with their lifetime accomplishments in the sports field.

Eruzione was the 'Miracle' man of the 1980 Winter Olympics when the American team came out of the clothes closet to skate up to the gold level.

Schilling stuffed a sock down the throat of the Curse of the Bambino once and for all when he pitched the Red Sox into champions, even if had to give more blood than the average turnip.

Yes, this week Mike Eruzione sold his winning hockey jersey (no word on its sweat equity) at auction for $660,000, which makes the new wearer the best-dressed man in the locker room of the world.

And, in a separate sale, Curt Schilling's bloody Red Sox sock went for under $92,000. In terms of the amount of skin covered, the sock actually is more expensive than the jersey. After all, you are buying only one sock, not a pair.

Alas, we believe that these items of hosiery and haberdashery will be hung up under clear glass somewhere, never again to show off their style-until the next auction renders them more profitable.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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