One Good Return and the Spoils of Ray Allen

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Sunday, 27 January 2013

It's not exactly the return of the Invisible Man. We see him coming.

Ray Allen comes back to his haunt of success, the Boston TD Garden and his once-beloved Celtics. Now they are merely a nemesis in green pantaloons.

Of course, returns are not always happy like when you take an empty bottle to the redemption center-and it doesn't count. There is no redemption when Ray Allen turns up at the Garden. You won't even get your five cents' worth.

In Miami at the start of the season, Allen received de rigueur hugs from his former boss, Doc Rivers, but was ignored like a bad smell in polite company by Kevin Garnett.

We expect this time Garnett may suggest that he misses Ray Allen about as much as he missed Honey Nut Cheerios when he played Carmelo recently.

Rajon Rondo probably won't see Allen clearly. Though this is not a playoff game, it is possible that Ray may receive at least one more pass from Rondo in this game than he had while playing for the Celtics last May.

Allen may have an opportune moment in his return to Boston. He can kick his former team while it is down on its luck.

When (and if) Ray returns to Boston during the playoffs this season, it will not carry the impact of this trifling game. This may not be the return of the native; or even the return to the thrilling days of yesteryear, but it is a return of destiny.

Ray's return may smack of the return from the great beyond of Lennay Kekua to Manti Te'o when she called to say she wasn't dead after all. You don't need the Ouija Board to know the outcome.

Suffice it to say Ray Allen is not dead as a doornail like Jacob Marley, but his return will haunt the Celtics with all the power of knocking Scrooge off his porridge. The only excuse left is that the discomfort is caused by a bit of undercooked beef with Rondo.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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