All's Fair in Tugs of War When Kevin Garnett Suits Up

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Wednesday, 26 December 2012

Who wears short shorts indeed! In the manly NBA where shorts hang below the knees and above the belt, there cannot possibly be any hangers-on in the fashion spread.

That is, until Sunday when Gerald Wallace and Kevin Garnett found themselves jockeying for position. It was unclear where the Hanes were until we discovered how Wallace had caught his digits in the webbing of Garnett's codpiece.

Before you could say boxers or briefs, the tousle had wedged most of Garnett's green shorts into an abbreviated version.

We could almost hear Garnett reading Wallace the Cliff Notes.

We had not seen so much leg since Magic and Bird routinely tried to fit into short shorts back in the 1980s with Duran Duran.

After some prolonged tugging that usually is reserved for alterations at the tailor's, we felt like we could see London and France as well as KG's underpants.

Yes, the fruit was on the loom.

For those wondering, Garnett wears a sleek and sexy under-pinning as you would expect on a man of his years and dignity.

KG did seem to take umbrage at the action by Wallace that lifted and separated-a quality usually reserved for Victoria Secret's bra line. Instead, we were exposed to KG's panty-line.

Garnett protested vociferously his treatment in a highly pitched falsetto that reminded some of the best music of Klaus Nomi.

If Wallace had pulled any harder, Garnett would be singing for the Sopranos to come and fix the problem.

The upshot of the brouhaha was that a couple of double technical fouls were assessed, apparently based on the size of the crime.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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