Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

image for Christina Aguilera's Secret Email To Jessica Simpson
Christina admits that part of her eating problem is the fact that she eats about four pounds of French fries each day.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Christina Aguilera of the Voice appeared on the American Music Award Show and it was no secret that she has put on a bit of poundage.

Miss Aguilera does not try to hide the fact, especially since anyone can physically see it.

Her chauffeur, identified as Dwight "Speedy" Sparkweiser, 42, reportedly told iRumors that after the show as Christina was watching it on "On Demand" in her limo on the way home, she suddenly let out a scream.

Sparkweiser asked her if she was alright. Aguilera replied that she was and she told him if he happens to look in the rear view mirror and sees her with a donut, an Oreo, or a Twinkie in her mouth that she wants him to stop the car, get out, open the back door, and take the pastry out of her mouth, by force if he has to.

Aguilera said that it is absolutely ridiculous the way she has let herself go and actually admitted that she looks like a white bowling ball with arms and legs.

She told Dwight that she was going to email Jessica Simpson and find out how in the world she managed to lose 60 pounds of baby weight.

Christina gave Dwight $85 and made him promise not to tell anyone about her plan. He promised that he would not.

SIDENOTE: Apparently since the word got out, it appears that Christina accidentally also sent the email to three other Jessica's by mistake, including Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, and Jessica Lange.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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