Jenny McCarthy Looking For Love

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 11 November 2012

HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Jenny McCarthy has stated that since being dumped by Chicago Bears middle linebacker Brian Urlacher she has found herself wallowing in a sea of depressed depression.

The 40-year-old actress has said that when she hit the big 4-0 she suddenly realized that she has got to seriously start thinking about settling down and acting her age instead of acting like Miley Cyrus.

McCarthy recently told Tittle Tattle Tonight's Kiowa Kettle that she will definitely be taking a break from making movies.

She stated that her last three films didn't do as well at the box office as she would have liked.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The three films were Santa Baby 2: Christmas Maybe, Santa Baby 3: Rudolph Almost Gets Neutered, and Santa Baby 4: Reindeer Snowballs - Brrrrr!]

Jenny confided to Miss Kettle that the reason why Urlacher dumped her was because of pressure from the Chicago Bears organization.

They felt that since Brian was dating a woman who has appeared in Playboy Magazine many times and who has been named Playboy Playmate of The Year would simply be too much of a distraction.

They did not want her to turn into another football jinx like Jessica Simpson with Dallas quarterback Tony Romo or Eva Longoria with New York Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez.

McCarthy said that she was absolutely shocked beyond belief when she found out that Urlacher had dumped her. She said that her ego has never been stomped on as bad as it was by that football player.

She did admit that she is going to get back into the dating game and go out there and look for love.

McCarthy took a sip of her Tequila Sunrise and confidently commented that it may take her two or three days but she is certainly going to find it.

SIDENOTE: Jenny noted that she feels that the old adage that what goes around comes around applies to her since she had dumped Jim Carrey back in 2010, after a five year relationship. She confessed that she just got tired of Jim's knock-knock jokes, his political jokes, and his anti-Bristol Palin jokes.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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