Katy Perry and John Mayer Told To Lower The Mattress Merriment Decibels

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 28 October 2012


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WEST HOLLYWOOD - Well it sure does look like Katy Perry has finally and completely gotten over her divorce from Russell "Sniffles" Brand.

The I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It singer has been going at it hot and heavy with none other than the walking sex organ himself, John "The Player" Mayer.

Mayer has what many in the entertainment media consider to be the worst reputation of anyone, male or female in Tinsel Town.

He is known by many celebrity women as Love 'Em and Leave 'Em Johnny The Baloney Boy.

One girl who dated him is country music sweetheart Taylor Swift who said that John is so conceited that he really needs to stop dating girls and concentrate on just being with himself.

She added that there isn't a girl in Hollywood who could possibly live up to the romantic animalistic standards that Mayer has set for his women.

The word on the streets of West Hollywood is that John has fallen head-over-heels in love with Katy "Ping Pong Ball Eyes" Perry.

In fact, Tittle Tattle Tonight was made privy to some police reports that show that three times within the past week, West Hollywood Police have had to go out to Perry's home because neighbors reported extremely loud sounds of a sexual nature emanating from her home.

Neighbors on both sides of her house have said that it is embarrassing when they are watching the night time news and they cannot hear all of the news commotion because of the romantic commotion being put out by Katy and John.

SIDENOTE: Perry and Mayer have promised law enforcement officers that they will abide by their request to cut back on the decibels during their mattress merriment sessions.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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