Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart Texting?

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

LOS ANGELES - The Left Coast rumor mills are working overtime trying to sort out the ongoing Pattinson/Stewart story.

Tittle Tattle Tonight's Tapioca Swizzle is reporting that Kristen's hair stylist FuFi Fondue has suggested that K-Stew is sending text messages to RPattz.

Fondue did not want to say too much for fear of losing a high profile client but he did hint that the two Twilight stars could end up back together before Halloween (October 31).

Miss Swizzle contacted Pattinson and asked him about the alleged text messages from Stewart and he simply giggled and said that if she is sending him text messages he has certainly not seen them.

When Stewart was contacted by Miss Swizzle and asked if she was indeed sending Pattinson text messages she blushed, took a sip of her Diet Dr. Pepper, and replied with a standardized comment of "No comment."

She did end up saying that she now feels that her life without Rob is like the life of a salt shaker without a pepper shaker.

A close friend of Kristen's who did not want her name mentioned revealed the fact that Kristen misses Rob so much that she would take him back quicker than Kirstie Alley could devour a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

In Political News. Newt Gingrich is so disappointed with Ron "Eddie Munster" Ryan that he is considering writing in Texas Governor Rick "The Electric Chair" Perry's name in for president.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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