Katy Perry Tells Russell Brand To Stop Calling Her Because She Isn't Taking Him Back

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Friday, 29 June 2012


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LOS ANGELES - Katy Perry was having dinner with her hair stylist at The Flamboyant Tortilla Mexican Restaurant in Encino when she was approached by a member of the entertainment media.

Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk told Ms. Perry that her and her friends order of shark tacos had been paid for courtesy of BPT.

Perry smiled and thanked her. She then asked Miss Chipotle to join her and her hair stylist, FuFi Fondue, who is known as The Hair Stylist to The Stars.

Chipotle sat down immediately. She asked Perry about the talk that she could possibly be starring in a movie with Alex Pettyfer based on the Avengers television show of the 60s which starred Patrick Magnee and Diana Rigg.

Katy said that there is talk about it and just in case it develops, she is taking lessons on speaking with a British accent from her good friend Cat Deely of So You Think You Can Dance.

She said that Deely who is a native of Birmingham, England has already taught her the correct way to pronounce English words like cor blimey, luvvly-jubbly, gobsmacked, and rumpy pumpy.

Perry said that she is having a bit of a problem properly pronouncing the word bollocks.

Miss Chipotle then asked her if she could comment on the rumor that her ex-husband Russell Brand has been calling her and pleading with her to take him back.

Katy smiled as she put down her shark taco and said that it is not a rumor and that in fact Rusty has been calling her at least 7 or 11 times a day.

Perry let Carolina listen to one of his phone call recordings: 'ey Katy, is me, Rusty. I missya a bunch cupcakes. I want for ya ta take me back I duzz. I know I acted like a bloomin' fox hunt horse's behind, but I'm bloody sorry I am. And regardin' da talk aboot me and Kate Gosselin will I'm just helpin the sexy lass go through an 'orrible rough spell I am. Call me back so we can 'ave a spot of tea and some apricot crumpets like we used ta do back before I lost me mind and dumped ya."

Chipotle shook her head in amazement. Katy hit the erase button and told her that the tremendously full-figured Wynonna Judd would become anorexic before she ever got back together with musty Rusty.

In Oil News. The tiny European republic of Liechtenstein has informed the United States that it's oil well is now producing three barrels of crude oil a day. They want to see about trading the three barrels of oil for some of those delightful American made Hostess Twinkies.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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