Reg Bond Reveals How He Told A Tearful Posh Spice That David Beckham Was Probably Her Best Option

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 16 June 2012

image for Reg Bond Reveals How He Told A Tearful Posh Spice That David Beckham Was Probably Her Best Option
Who Needs Celebrity Sex When You Can Own Your Very Own Chip Shop?

Yates's Wine Lodge - Burnley - Today, holding court in Yates's Wine Lodge in Burnley town centre, former bodyguard to the stars and currently aspiring fish and chip shop proprietor, Reg Bond revealed how the David/Victoria Beckham romance could have swung in a completely different direction, had not he (Reg Bond) exercised tremendous self discipline and restraint.

Sitting amongst a close circle of personal friends, sipping a pint of snakebite with a vodka chaser, Reg Bond described how Posh Spice, as she was then known, fell hopelessly in love with him as he bodyguarded her on a trip to the USA in 1998.

"Aye," Reg revealed. "The Beckham bloke had been sniffing around Vicky for a while, but at that time she only had eyes for me. We were in a bar in Manhattan when Beckham got sent off against the Argies. We were watching it on the telly. Up until that point I'd always resisted Vicky's flirtatiousness, and I could see that she wasn't really all that interested in Becks. But I knew he'd take the blame for England's ignominious World Cup exit, and that he'd need a tower of strength to lean on. It was time for me to bow out."

Reg Bond went on to relate how he took Victoria aside in a traumatically emotional moment and told her that her destiny lay with David Beckham, and not Reg Bond.

"She cried her eyes out," Reg revealed. "Smitten with me, she was. Absolutely smitten. Our original plan was to return to the UK together. We had tickets for a Notsensibles gig at the Plumb Street Miners Club, but it wasn't to be. I told Vicky to wait for Becks, because his need was greater than mine. She went out to a hotel in Brooklyn and the rest is history. Regrets? I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. By the way, I've put a bid in for that chip shop on Yorkshire Street, and it's looking good. Your round isn't it?"


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