Shocking news just in from Las Vegas - as it's revealed that Rihanna has shaved all the hair off her head and dyed her scalp green, partially in honour of the Irish football team at the European Championships, and partly because she wants to repeat the feat of a couple of years ago when she led by example, and persuaded a whole bunch of stupid women to buy umbrellas and dye their hair bright red.
"We haven't had actual confirmation of this yet," wrote SEN's top gossip reporter, Verity Warbling-Trollblog. "But we do believe that Rihanna has shaved all her hair off and dyed her scalp green, although at this point in time, we aren't at all sure why. Maybe she's just had a bad day or something. Who's to say?"
What can be confirmed is that in previous years - particularly when Rihanna dyed her hair bright red - thousands of fat birds in lycra shorts followed her lead. And succeeded in making themselves look like sheep who would do the stupidest of things if it made them in some way - however remotely - identifiable with a pretty good looking woman who can sing a bit, and who has a nice figure.
"It's a pretty serious situation," Ms Warbling-Trollblog wrote. "Sometimes I'm not quite sure that celebrities realise how their personal quirks have a knock-on effect on the general population. But if you ask me, any woman who shaves her hair off and dyes her scalp green is obviously fucking mental."
SEN supremo, Buffty Ginslinger had this to say:
"Has Rihanna really shaved her head and dyed her scalp green? Fuck me! Is she trying to look like a frog or what?"
Here at Skoob News, we don't get any of this. As far as we're concerned, it's just weird. It's purely a contractual thing.
More as they get it.
