Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest

Funny story written by radiogagger

Friday, 25 May 2012

image for Protesters target Eurovision Song Contest
Dustin The Turkey - Irish Eurovision entry 2008

Protesters disrupted the preparations for the Eurovision Song Contest earlier today when large groups of human rights campaigners demanded that Jedward be removed from the competition.

Brothers John and Edward Grimes, known for their blonde quiffs, became the first contestants to represent Ireland two years on the row. The Irish government is thought to have sent them as a guarantee of not winning. In previous years the Irish also sent a puppet turkey.

It is tradition that the winning country host the contest the following year and Ireland are one of the most successful countries in the event, once winning 4 times in 5 years during the mid 90s.

However, Ireland is just one of the Eurozone countries that applied for bail-out money in the last three years - others being Spain, Portugal and Greece. It is slowly becoming the event that no one wants to win - as the costs of staging the competition and improving infrastructure can run into millions.

Azerbaijan have reportedly spent $100m on improving the city transport links, tearing down residents houses and building a car park close to the venue.

Protesters however, were fuming that they have to listen to the squeaky tones of Jedward again, just to help save the Irish a fortune. Mikkolof Dickolaf, 34, from host city Baku spoke to the sloof before being carried away by police "This is not fair. We have human rights. We shouldn't have to listen to Jedward two years on the trot, with their lipstick and waterline. Watching them on X Factor via cable tv was bad enough. I only tuned in for Cheryl Cole back then".

Officers made several arrests of protesters, who are expected to be detained until the event finishes on Saturday night. So far Jedward have not been arrested and are scheduled to sing at 9.43pm.

Terry Wogan was unavailable for comment as we went to press.
Simon Cowell told friends he will watch both the Voice and Eurovision on BBC1, but pop out to the kitchen to make a cup of tea when the 'Oirish lads are on'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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