Saturday Kitchen Chef Unveils Radical New Cuisine

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for Saturday Kitchen Chef Unveils Radical New Cuisine
Make mine tasteless, please.

One of the country's top chefs surprised the UK TV audience by unveiling his latest ideas on Saturday Kitchen today.

Kenwood Le Creuset, who cooks at the world-famous Top Nosh, has been awarded four Dunlop stars for his unique take on Mexican-Korean fusion cuisine.

But appearing on Saturday Kitchen to cook something with bloody fish, he told host James Martin that he was set to open a new restaurant in Dorking and to publish a new book.

"It's all very exciting," said Le Creuset, filleting yet another piece of bloody sea bream. "It's a completely new concept.

"Customers are fed up with the best, fresh ingredients cooked simply to deliver fantastic flavours. So, I'm going for rubbish ingredients - ideally sourced from the other end of the country - cooked in the most complicated recipes and completely devoid of flavour.

"I look forward to seeing diners break out into cold sweats, the colour draining from their faces, rushing to the toilets."

As a preview, Le Creuset used the bloody weekly Omelette Challenge to demonstrate, using two three-week old eggs cooked into a burned lump of rubber in 4 minutes 23 seconds.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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