It's the breaking news of the century - probably the 16th Century, but reports coming in to Skoob Entertainment News appear to strongly suggest that Spoof writer, Martin Shuttlecock - he of the pork pie hat, and the acrylic teeth - has secured an exclusive telephone interview with Spoof writer, Colonel Juan.
It's thought that the interview may take place at some point over this weekend, with Colonel Juan responding to Shuttlecock's intrusive (ooh-err-Missus!) journalistic approach, by responding to questions about love, life, death, black puddings, gravy, Alf Starling, Chiswick life, his mate Lynton, his bog eyed nymphomaniacal Thai mail order nurse, Juanita and the outrageous price of a one stop tube ticket from Waterloo to Embankment of £4.00
"It's a big shout is this," Shuttlecock admitted as he tried to stop his long suffering wife, Anne, from smiting him about the head with a big stick. "But in my opinion, it'll be well worth it. There must be at least seven people in the world today who will linger on Colonel Juan's every word. So that's one viewer more than I usually get on my You Tube channel. Mind you, it is fucking dire...."
Minka Stoat and Aretha Frankly, associates of Shuttlecock and the Colonel publicly announced earlier that they wouldn't touch the proposed project with a Polish barge stick pole.
Much less something plastic and vaguely cock and ball shaped.
With batteries.
"This'll never work," said Anne Shuttlecock. "They're the biggest pair of wankers who ever walked on two shoes!"
"That's completely untrue," Colonel Juan said, "There's a couple of blokes in Acton who are far worse..."
Sunday...You Tube...maybe.
Don't miss it.
More as we get it.
