Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 7 November 2011

image for Astrologers slam sexist, sizeist slur on Pluto 'twin' Eris
Eris seen here from a nearby planetoid

London - A stargazers convention has deplored an official 2005 NASA description of Eris as a 'frigid dwarf' and declared it a load of sexist bollox.

Astrologers Anonymous sources said today the minature planet has been slandered by an international panel of misogynists with a decades-long agenda of desecrating the celestial body with their personal prejudices.

The London gathering cited ancient Greek tosh that originally libelled Eris as the goddess of strife and discord and whose erotic - er...erratic! - orbit was horribly smeared circa 650BC along with her various celestial offspring.

Typical of this rotten defamation was the naming of the planet's moon Dystonia after a neurological movement disorder characterised by muscle convulsions causing twisting, repetitive movements and abnormal postures.

This was accompanied by malicious abuse of the planet's asteroids with ancient Greek slang for toil/labour, amnesia/forgetfullness, famine, pains/sorrows, fistings/combat, murders/slaughter, quarrels, lies/falsehoods, lawlessness and ruin/folly.

"We blame Hesiod's 'Works and Days'," a convention source commented, "a collection of sexist creation rants by the Greek oral poet who in all probability is responsible for today's bankruptcy of Greece."

The upgrading of the asteroid Sedna may also have been a bit of a mistake.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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