Written by Lyndon

Thursday, 29 September 2011

image for Demi Moore's tweets hint at trouble, open to interpretation
Demi's adversary: this girl is half her age

HOLLYWOOD, Calif.--Demi Moore has turned to Tweeting as her way of letting the public know, albeit indirectly, how she feels about Ashton Kutcher's recent infidelity.

The Tweets, which Moore has released at random intervals and use quotes from well-known people, seem to point to one message: she is pissed.

The first Tweet came after online Hollywood rags reported that Kutcher had spent the night with a 23-year-old San Diego native:

"The problem with most men is they're assholes. The problem with most women is they put up with those assholes." --Cher

Then later:

"Maybe 1 day, there can be "us" again, but if not, fuck it then." --Wiz Khalifa

Neighbors at the Moore/Kutcher estate did report loud, profanity-laced arguing. Once the fighting subsided, this tweet appeared:

"He said 'I love you'. I sneezed and said 'Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit'" --Unknown


"Women are from stars, men are from penis." --Vanna Bonta

"True, you have to read between the lines," said one Hollywood insider, "but something tells me she's not happy right now."

Members of Moore's inner circle say Demi will be okay and point to a recent Tweet with that 'You-go-girl" attitude:

""If amazing was a young bitch, I'd be going to jail cuz I'm fucking amazing." --Drake

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
52 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more