Department of Employment issues punctuality advice to clients

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Saturday, 15 January 2011

image for Department of Employment issues punctuality advice to clients
Punctuality aid pictured.

The Department Of Employment today issued an advisory on its website advising clients and the general public that one way to avoid the most serious consequences of the current recession, is for people to embrace the concept of punctuality in all walks and aspects of life.

Recently conducted research has revealed that people who can't keep reasonable time and who are frequently late for appointments tend to be generally less successful in life than their ever-punctual counterparts.

Topping the list for essential punctuality are activities such as visiting the doctor/dentist, work attendance, job interviews, hospital appointments, going to the cinema, and using public transport.

Non-essential punctuality activities (although to a certain extent, a reasonable degree of punctuality is required) include going to the toilet, shopping, going to the pub, putting the kettle on, going for a walk, feeding the dog, or watching television.

Punctuality among football referees was singled out for special attention, as a referee not running on time could result in large crowds of spectators sitting idly for excessively long periods twiddling their thumbs. Referres are also required to keep a close eye on the time elapsed in gameplay, as a seventy eight hour football match would be dull for the crowd, exhausting for the players, and not really a good advert for the game.

A DOE consultant was meant to address a conference on this subject to be held in Harrogate, but there was some confusion, and the lady somehow ended up in Falkirk in Scotland in error. With a laptop and a dongle in a bag.

The confusion was not thought to have been caused by a lack of punctuality, and has been ascribed to a navigational error.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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