'The Man', faceless entity of many souless corporations the world over, sensationally came out last night and said he was 'sick and tired of being damned'.
"Whenever something goes wrong," he crooned "I get blamed. Prices go up, damn The Man! No pay rise, fuck The Man! Taxes, utilities and expenses, bollocks to The Man!"
"Well I've had enough! Damn the little person! Damn him right back, with knobs on!" he continued.
"Typical of all the snivelling, whiny toads. They sit there not bothering to fill in their tax return forms, or to make that payment for some mundane items they bought on tick six months ago, then wonder why they get charged! Wankers, serves them right!" he said.
"But then they have the audacity to blame me? How rude! If you can't afford it, don't buy it! Don't damn me for your own fallibilities!"
The Man, who lives alone in London, has often been at the centre of 'little peoples' hatred. Many groups and campaigns have been started to try and stamp him out, but he always seems to come through.
"You'll never beat The Man. That's a fact. You may think you've got one over on me, but only because I let you think that. I always get my own back, eventually!" he said, gorging on the chips of a newly bankrupted company and wiping corporate grease from his chin.