Samsung Developing LD Technology for Fourth Quarter

Funny story written by Alistair Clarke

Thursday, 9 September 2010

HONG KONG - Korean electronics giant Samsung has given the press a glimpse of its upcoming products by demonstrating its innovative LD (or "Lower Definition") technology to a packed crowd of industry experts at the 2010 Tech Expo. Displayed alongside machines from Sony, Acer and other such industry leaders, Samsung's range is seen by many critics as the standout offering.

"Even with the little we know about them, it's not unrealistic to think that LD screens may become the new display paradigm", explains Technology Magazine's Editor Lucas Margate. "Sony's new portable Blu-Ray players are impressive, but I just don't see them having the same sort of impact as LD. Get ready for the LD revolution, people."

Samsung displayed great confidence In LD's prospects earlier this year in ploughing much of their second-quarter budget into research, development and marketing, and it seems to be the consensus in the technology world that they have succeeded in stealing a march on their competitors.

Margate sees them as incredibly versatile. "LD monitors are perfect for countless situations - video conferences where participants are only partially dressed or particularly ugly, airplane films where sharp lines keep the mind active and advertisements where obscuring the small print is advantageous for the advertisers are three such examples."

Project leader Johan Vergeer envisions a market dominated by LD TVs, monitors and portable screens. "Our market research has clearly shown that the average TV viewer does not want crisp, sharp pictures or lifelike colour reproduction. They want blurry images and harsh, blue lighting. Unnecessary detail complicates things that should be very simple. That guy has a gun, that other guy has a gun, that guy shot the other guy - that's all that matters."

One of Samsung's test subjects was professional film critic Samantha Wilkins, 35. In defiance of expectation, she agrees with Vergeer. "When I'm watching the pivotal "you talkin' to me?" scene in Taxi Driver, I want to gaze into De Niro's eyes as he expertly conveys the character's inner turmoil and increasingly-loose grip on his sanity. I don't need my eye drawn to the realistically-depicted pigeon stretching its wings on his window ledge and I certainly don't want to be wondering where he got his wallpaper pattern."

The flagship model for the range is tipped to be a 68" LD TV with internet connectivity and a native resolution of 320x240. It is likely to ship in November and is expected to retail for around $4000.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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