Got a Secret? Don't Share It with an iPad

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Sunday, 13 June 2010

image for Got a Secret? Don't Share It with an iPad
Sshh! That means you, iPads.

At least that's what Kindles (Amazon's electronic readers considered, in some quarters, to be rivals of iPads) advised when it was revealed this week that some iPad users had some of their data leaked.

Head Kindle Hedda was quick to comment. "It's so unprofessional," she said, continuing, "but it's well known that iPads love to gossip. And nothing is sacred." Hedda pointed out that some iPads had been caught on the job reading the National Enquirer and People magazine and then having lengthy discussions with each other about the gossip contained therein.

She advised Apple to try some in-house training of iPads before they are sold: "Perhaps a course in Business 101 and a class in business ethics. And that's just for starters."

But Hedda's not even sure that iPads can be rehabilitated through education. She spoke of Josiah Charles Stamp's definition of education, "The inculcation of the incomprehensible into the ignorant by the incompetent."

Apple, Hedda said, may have to take more drastic measures, like sealing shut the big mouths of iPads with masking tape. And if that doesn't work? Well, as a last resort, Hedda suggests buying some muzzles at Kmart.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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